June 10, 2009

I know, I know, I'm sorry! Man has it been a while. Between the retreat and being so busy (I've been working full time) I haven't had the time to sit down and blog. Which brings me to my first point today...There is now doubt that a diagnosis like cancer is a reality check. Everyone always talks about how their lives are to busy and how they need to slow down. Not so true in my case, let me explain. I don't see a screeching halt or deceleration in my future (other than during my chemo treatments for obvious reasons) because that's who I am. I don't like sitting around, I'm a busy body. Anyone who knows me knows that my schedule is always full, and I'm happy with that. What I have taken from my reality check is that I need to make time for more of the things I enjoy. I'm one of those people who has a hard time saying NO. Being busy and being busy doing things that fulfill you or enrich you are two TOTALLY different things. Life lesson: Taking more time for yourself does not mean you have to slow down.
When I started my blog, somewhere in the beginning I mentioned that I knew there was purpose, or life lesson that I would take from my journey. I don't believe that I have cancer by chance, I think it is all part of a bigger picture. I have experienced blessing after blessing. I read a quote on a billboard this week..."Worry is useless when God is in control". I think that is part of the reason that I don't have much fear, I trust God. I mean really, the moment that we think we're in control God has a way of reminding us he's boss. I feel so blessed and unworthy that so many people have touched my life, and that I, yes ME, have touched so many lives. I have made life long friends during my journey that I would have otherwise never met.
Okay, on a less serious note, I guess everyone wants to know how I am doing. Thankfully everything is still going really well. I had a BLAST at the retreat, I am already looking forward to the reunion lunch! I've been feeling great, however the past two or three days I've been kinda tired, and I've yet to get rid of the diarrhea. I think it's my curse, instead of the nausea and vomiting, but I'll take it. There's nothing worse than being sick to your stomach. I got expanded today, which went well. I probably have two more expansions left before I'm to the size I want. Life without hair is great, VERY low maintenance, although I don't really dig the wigs, they're too itchy. I've mostly worn scarfs or gone bald.
Tomorrow is my 2nd chemo treatment. Lets all say a prayer that it goes as well as the first one did.