August 31, 2009

Today's weather was beautiful! It's making me excited about fall, which is right around the corner. Ahh, my favorite time of the year.
I enjoyed my vacation to Tennessee with my parents, but I'm glad to be home. Monday turned out to be a really nice day. We took a cruise on the lake (a wine and cheese cruise), then ate a picnic dinner while listening to a live bluegrass band. It was a beautiful night, the weather was perfect. I must admit, the drive home on Tuesday was tough, and for most of the drive I wasn't feeling very good. My back was killing me (what's new) and I was really fatigued. I think Tuesday night in my own bed must have been the best nights sleep in weeks. As far as I can remember the rest of the week at work was fairly uneventful, other than I was always tired. This weekend I really pushed myself to my limits, dumb no doubt, but worth it. Friday my best friend and I went to dinner at Morton's Steakhouse (yummy) for her birthday, then went to a drag show, it was such a blast. We stayed out til......drum roll please....2am. I'm pretty sure that sounds lame for someone my age, but I had been up since 6:30 am and although it may be hard to feel sorry for me since I'm out on the town, chemo has really beat me down. Saturday I was up early again to work, then out to lunch with a group of Chad and my best friends! After lunch we all went out to a winery and enjoyed the day tasting wine out in the vineyard and laughing (laughter really is the best medicine). We ended the day with the family celebrating my mothers birthday at dinner. It was so much fun watching my nephews climbing all over Chad and sitting in his lap playing games on his iPhone. (I just wanted to make a note that wanting children and choosing to wait holds entirely different emotions than wanting children and being unable to have them. I experienced this for the first time this week. It hurts deep, and I can only pray that the feelings get easier rather than stronger). Again, I was sooo ready for bed, and slept like a baby. Sunday was spent laying around and running a few errands. Which leads us to today. Things have a slightly different twist today. Chad is the one who's sick. He has a 101.5 degree temp and feels achy, congestion, general malaise, etc. I think he has the flu, I'm gonna test him tomorrow to make sure. Either way, I'm staying away from him. After getting the flu before my last treatment (and it being the worse one so far) I'm not taking any chances. He looked so miserable wrapped up in that chair. I think it made him realize how miserable I feel after my treatments, cause he looked at me so sincere and told me he loved me.
So, this week is my LAST treatment!!!!!! I must say...part of me is so excited and relieved. I'm ready to get this shit over with and move on. But I must admit, part of me is so worn out and sick of the way it makes me feel that even though it's my last one, I'm dreading it. It's had a cumulative effect (where each one intensifies) and this past treatment really had me down both physically and emotionally. I think I've shared that chemo has put me into menopause (not something a 27 year old is really happy to announce) and among the obvious symptoms, there's the mood swings. I don't really think I've had a problem with mood swings (Chad disagrees, but I think more than anything, he's just tired of me complaining about how I don't feel good all the time), but here recently, the past few days, I've really been emotional. I tear up at the most unexplainable times. Lets hope that things can get back to "normal" when chemo is over, however I have my reservations about these hormone pills I'm going to be taking. This could turn out to be a six year long nightmare.
Hey, does anyone have any suggestions for a team name for the Susan G. Komen walk in October. I'm wanting to put together a team and was wanting something catchy. Unfortunately my brain has been less than useful recently.