November 20, 2009

I promise, I haven't abandoned the blog. There hasn't been too much to remark about concerning the "cancer world". I had a follow up with my Plastic Surgeon a week after surgery and everything is looking great. I healed really fast compared to the other surgeries. I'm due to go back in another week or two, but for the most part I was released to do whatever I wanted. Unfortunately it looks like I will probably have to have one or two more surgeries to finish the reconstruction, but they won't be any worse than the one I just had. I am planning on scheduling the next surgery next spring. I've been trying to incorporate exercise back in my life (I can definitely tell a HUGE decrease in my strength and cardiovascular endurance). I've been to spin class a few times and doing some strength exercises at home. I'm really looking forward to getting back out on my bike next spring and I plan on doing a least 2 triathlons next year.
I also met with my oncologist a week after surgery. She started me on Tamoxifen and so far I would say we have a HATE/HATE relationship. The Tamoxifen is a hormone blocker that decreases the cancers ability to thrive on the estrogen in my body. The idea is to suppress the estrogen. Without going into more details than some reader may want, basically it's rocking my female world. Hot flashes accompanied with severe nausea, insomnia, and extreme emotional...I don't even know what you would call it! I just feel down. I'm hoping that this is a transitional phase and in a few months things will get better (otherwise, Lord help us all! It's going to be a LONG 5 years!) I don't have to go back to the oncologist for 2 more months. It's nice to have a break form all the appointments for a change!
As usual, I've been very busy. I hate sitting around the house. Chad and I have been trying to enjoy the beautiful weather while it's still around. The past few weekends we have gone out driving and visited a few wineries.
Just trying to take it one day at a time. I think finding yourself after treament is BY FAR the hardest part. I've definately been doing alot of soul searching.

October 26, 2009

Day 5 post-op. Things are going really well. I'm impressed how much more quickly I have recovered from this surgery. I'm still very tender and sore, but I was able to quit my pain meds Friday early afternoon. My legs are the most sore. I have to be careful not to plop myself into a chair, and I tend to be a bit stiff when I get up. Otherwise my bruising is healing and my scars are flattening out some. I am still having some nausea, but I'm pretty sure that has to due with hormones. I plan on going back to work Wednesday or Thursday, and I don't go back to my plastic surgeon til next Monday.
I had a follow up with my oncologist today. I am cleared for another 3 months, and I start my Tamoxifen tomorrow. She was unable to tell me how this medicine would affect my hormones, since every woman is different, but I am hoping for the best. I'll have to take this medicine for 5 years, which is why Chad and I have to wait to try to conceive.
It's a really weird feeling. I went from following my dreams to a screeching halt. Fighting cancer for 8 months and now I'm tossed back into my "life". In a way I kinda feel lost. I'm trying to find a balance. It would be a lie if I said I don't have to think about cancer anymore. It's always going to be a worry, is it going to come back? I'm reminded daily by the scars that mark my body. I can't just go back to my original plans and life course, if that were the case I should be having a baby about this time. Chad and I have to make a new path for ourselves, reprioritize. Ahh, where to go from here? It's such a scary transition. Alas, I know things will work out, I trust God, but where do I place my next step? I'm ready to move forward. I am cancer FREE!!! What an amazing journey. If you would have asked me in January if I thought I were strong enough to make it through a fight like this, or even imagine the possibility of facing something like this at my age I would have told you you were crazy. If I have learned anything, it is to never underestimate yourself, and NEVER underestimate the Lord. God is good, even amidst our fears and trials. I feel like I've won the battle. Not because I'm cancer free, but because I feel like I've taken more from cancer than cancer has taken from me. I have been blessed beyond measure throughout my journey this year.

October 23, 2009

It's two days after surgery and I have to admit, I was hoping to feel better than I do. Surgery went great, other than waiting forever to go to surgery. I think I was in surgery for about 2 1/2 hours. It took me a little bit to wake up from the anesthesia, but when I did, I was feeling pretty good (obviously sore, but not as bad as I had expected). They had booked me a room to spend the night, but I was able to go home that afternoon around 5pm. I took it easy for the rest of the evening and slept great that night. The next day did not go great. I've been really tired and VERY sore (I have HUGE bruises on my thighs from the fat grafting, and my chest is tight). After one of my naps I nearly passed out and felt very nauseous. That continued into last night and today. Last night at around 5am I woke up and thought I was going to get sick, plus I was in alot of pain. I am still taking my pain meds and even had to take some Zofran for my nausea. Against my better judgement I had my in-laws take me to the grocery store so I could get a few items. I didn't carry anything but I think even the walking was too much.

October 21, 2009

Today is the day. I have to be at the hospital by 9am. No nerves, I feel really good about this one. I know and love my surgeon and my anesthesiologist is a close friend. I'm in good hands. Yea!!!!! This is my last step, I'm sooo ready to be done. Not looking forward to the pain thats gonna come this afternoon.
Anyways, running late, gotta go.
Wish me luck

October 16, 2009

5 days til surgery! Not much is going on. I went to spin class last night and I have definitely paid for it today. I went with the intentions of taking it easy, and ended up pushing myself to my max. Of course, what else would I expect, I'm so competitive. I was nice to know that my cardiovascular system is getting stronger. I've not been having to rapid heart rate like I was during my treatments (told you it was from the chemo). I've been very physical this week, and have noticed some "chemo" back pain. I thought that stage was over, but at least it's getting better and less often. My hair is really starting to come in. I hope to post a pic soon of the progress. Now, if I could just grow some eyebrows, hahaha.
It's not too late to join my team "Alicia's Breast Friends" for the ACS Making Strides Walk.

Koman "Walk For The Cure" 2009

October 12, 2009

I guess it's time to start the countdown....9 days til surgery.
I loved the footage from the WHAS 11 interview, I hope to post a link to it soon. Things have been going pretty well. For the most part I'm feeling better, but I'm not 100% yet.
This past Saturday was the Komen Walk For The Cure. It was amazing! Thank you to everyone who supported, donated and walked with me.
Mom and I have another interview this Wednesday on WAVE 3 form 10-11am.